Keep a partner “on a short leash”, overload your problems, try to make a “normal person” from him … What other mistakes can you cost you a relationship?
Problems “In Personal Life” is one of the most commonly discussed topics in the psychologist’s office. It happens that a couple comes to therapy, but more often the partner who arises more worries more to a specialist. Or a person who cannot build relationships with anyone at all (and the goal in this case is to understand why this is happening and what to do with it).
Clinical psychologist Karen Nimimo recalls the client with a similar request: the man was aimed at a long -term union, marriage, family and children, but the
longest of his relations lasted only two years. In theory, he imagined what a healthy relationship should be, and which a good partner should be, and asked the psychologist to share … “harmful advice” that would destroy any union. That the specialist did.
So, what the most effective ways to ruin relationships look like?
1. Play with a partner in games, manipulate
Specially late on a date and force a person to wait, do not answer messages at once (after all, on the Internet they say that it is better to withstand a pause), depict indifference … If you want the union to be initially built on lies and manipulations – the flag in your hands. If you strive for a healthy relationship, then do not be afraid to let a potential partner know that you like him.
Yes, this is a risk, but so you will save yourself a lot of time, nerves and effort. Do not play “cat-mouse” with someone you like and run from the person who does this to you.
2. Violate agreements
Healthy relationships are built on trust. So, after discussing your needs and expectations from each other, do not violate the agreement and this word. If something has changed, talk about this with a partner honestly and openly.
3. “Hang” on a partner all their needs, including emotional
Counting on the fact that the partner will be near when you need help and support – this is normal. It is abnormal – to wait for him to solve all the problems for you, and only take from him, but give nothing in return. If you need a loved one only for this, it is just right to think: perhaps there will be more use from a competent psychotherapist?